On the weird day of Christmas, My true love gave to me…

On the weird day of Christmas my true love gave to me…nine horrible stories, seven strange Christmas customs and lores… But nooo head!

Nothing like two day old eggnog (mostly American Honey than eggnog) to get you in the groove.

There’ve been all sort of world-changing events that happened on Christmas Day.

Believe it or not, not everyone’s Christmas has been Jolly Holly. Some have even been anti-Christy.

Here are some slightly curious historical happenings that took place on or around Dec. 25.

  1. 1953- The Tangiwai Disaster
    A passenger train carrying nearly 300 people came down the tracks near the Whangaehu River in New Zealand and tragedy struck. A bridge where the train was going to pass over had been severely weakened by  flood from nearby Crater Lake.

The driver of the train was warned by a nearby motorist about the bridge’s condition, but unable to stop in time, he drove onto the bridge which collapsed under the weight of the train.

                        151 people perished inside the train.
  1. 1997- The Acteal Massacre
    In a poor area in Mexico, in a small town known as Acteal, a paramilitary group known as the Masque Roja (Red Mask) attacked a Roman Catholic prayer group. 45 people died, including 21 women and 15 children.
  2. 1972- Kim Il-Sung Becomes President Of North Korea

On receiving the title of president, he began spending an unprecedented amount on the country’s military and soon attained the “Great Leader” cult personality which all his successors enjoy due to the brainwashing and iron fist rule over North Koreans.

  1. 1913- The Italian Hall Disaster
    To boost morale, a party was held in a large building, the Italian Hall, and nearly 600 people, including children, flocked there to enjoy themselves. During the fun, some unknown asshole shouted the word “fire”, and this resulted in a panicked stampede that caused the death of 73 people, of which 62 were children.
  2. 1939- Erzincan Earthquake
    This earthquake struck Turkey in 1939 and claimed over 30,000 lives, mostly because of terribly designed buildings throughout the area which collapsed on people.
  3. 1979- Soviet Invasion Of Afghanistan

The Soviet Union decided to invade the country, sneaking in under cover of darkness on Christmas Eve of 1979. This was the first and only time the Soviet Union invaded a country outside the Eastern Bloc, and the decision was met with worldwide denunciation. To counter the Soviets, the US started training Afghanistan indigenes and thus trained Osama Bin Laden and you know the 9/11 rest.

  1. 1941- Black Christmas

Shortly after their successful attack on Pearl Harbor, Japan’s military turned its sights to Hong Kong, which was defended by some Allied soldiers. The fighting lasted for a few weeks as the Japanese had an overwhelming advantage in manpower and firepower.

As usual the Japanese went overboard and started a four-year campaign of systematic torture of POW and civilians, as well as the unmitigated rape of untold women.

  1. 1990:Test-driving the quasi-Internet, the first Web page, on the first Web server, using the first Web browser, got its first hit when British software consultant Tim Berners-Lee tried out his new system for linking computers. Berners-Lee spent 1991 flying around the world trying to convince people to link to Web browsers. And now we have Internet Porn and Google watching us like Big Brother.
  2. 25 December 1865:

Who needs Santa when you got the KKK? That Christmas, the Ku Klux Klan held its first gathering.

Scientists say the actual date of Christ’s birth was June 17th, 2BC because of the appearance of the star that beckoned the three wise men. They say, December 25th was set as the date for Christmas in the 4th century by Pope Julius I in an attempt to Christianize midwinter pagan holidays such as Solstice and Saturnalia.

Here are some of those weird pagan customs and lores Popeye Julius was tryna get rid off.

  1. Christmas And Werewolves

According to Central and Southern Europeans,if you are born on a Christmas Day, you are likely to become a werewolf because being born on the same day as Jesus Christ is some blasphemous scandalous shit. I wonder what they say about people who call themselves Jesus.

  1. Christmas Witches

According to the neo-pagan version of history, Christmas is but a highly sanitized version of Yule, a pagan celebration mostly held by Germanic and Celtic people. It is believed that Christmas time is best time for casting spells.

This is born from the idea that the 12 days between Christmas and Epiphany is a time when the spirit world impinges on our own.

  1. Ungroomed Peter

Ungroomed Peter is a giant monster with long, shaggy hair and even longer fingernails. He eats or otherwise tortures children who terrorize animals, refuse to eat dinner, suck their thumbs, or do other mischievous things on Christmas night. (I know some kids and adults who need this guy in their life.)

  1. Frau Perchta

It is believed that unless one eats a specific diet, Perchta will steal into the house on the eve of the Twelfth Night and slit open your stomach.

  1. The Yule Cat

In Iceland, Christmas time is when the Yule Cat punishes those who do not own a new piece of clothing. Those who have not worked hard enough to afford new clothes will be visited by the Yule Cat, who primarily likes to eat up all of the lazy person’s food. Sounds like a typical cat to me.

  1. Val Di Fiemme Witch Trial

This particular legend is based on historical fact. The Val di Fiemme witch trial re-enactments are folk memories of the executions of 14 people between 1501 and 1505.

The trials began when a man named Giovanni delle Piatte claimed to have met the goddess Diana. To avoid his own execution for talking to spirits, Piatte named several other witches whom he saw in the mountains after dark. A woman named Margherita Tesero (or Vanzina) was named as the head of the coven and the supposed leader of a cult dedicated to communicating with malevolent spirits. They were all executed.

  1. The Nigerian Matter

As you know down in Nigeria we like adding our own flavor to every copied practice we have. Since Christmas is no different, the Nigerian custom is that during yuletide, one is being strongly advised not to travel during the Ho-Ho-Ho season because of bloodsucking spirits/people on the highway.

It’s easy to laugh it off as silly superstition if you aren’t Nigerian or African but those who live in this continent know evil walks the land seeking whom to devour.

That said, Enjoy your holidays!



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