While I was a senior in High School, about 11/12 years old (If you didn’t know, now you know I was a Prodigy), there was a girl in my class who I spent the better part of two years developing a heart aching crush for. But being a fat kid, I didn’t have the nerve to express my emotions. I feared expressing said emotions might lead to soul crippling rejection.
You know? That kind of soul crippling rejection that makes serial killers out of white kids from middle class homes.
I and the girl were friends. Sorta kinda close. But I have no idea if she ever saw me as anything more than a chubby buddy.
Anyway an opportunity presented itself for me to make a move when all our classmates went off to write their Diploma exam. I, the crusher, and she, the crushee, didn’t need to take said Diploma because we already passed it the previous year.
Alone in our class, together all day, we’d talk and talk and bond and I’d work up my yellow courage to profess my “love” but then chicken out at the last minute.
Now, here’s where things got creepy.
When she’d leave class for a bit for whatever reason (e.g bathroom), I’d sit at her desk and remix Michael Jackson’s song, Speechless, by slotting her name into the lyrics and croon it to her absent self.
Why’d I do all this? Maybe to soothe myself. Or maybe professing my romance to her absent self, made me feel better? I have no idea.
Puppy love (previously discussed) hysteria fever, whatever that is.
Anyway I never told her how I felt and my opportunity slipped by as our classmates returned.
A new guy came along with our returning classmates. He was tall. He was… let’s just say the kind of guy who could make a horny teenage girl masturbate. And he had eyes for my girl.
Simply put, he took her. And I flung acid in his face.
No. I didn’t actually do that.
Nah! I just wept and balled my fat low self-esteem self into a corner and licked my wounds.
Now let’s look at celebrities with low self esteem.
Why does she make the list? Quite simply, because low self esteem makes you do all kinds of crazy things just to prove you’re on top of your game and not feeling down below at the bottom rung. It makes you over/underreact, depending on the situation of things.
You might think Sia…
…deserves to be on this list because she avoids the public eye. But you’d be wrong.
Why? Because she’s just a private person who’d rather not have her business all up in our faces. Unfortunately for Sia (but fortunately for me and her other fans) she is so f**king chock-full of talent. It is crazy practically impossible for that much talent to escape the public’s attention especially now when music is loaded with so much mediocrity, it makes true talent stand out like a phat ass at a ballet concert.
Back to Chistina Milian. She enjoyed success in the entertainment industry (both music and movies) between 2001 and… I have no idea and don’t care enough to do the research. But she did have that hit track Dip it Low. Yeah, that was a juicy bit of music.
Anyways, when she lost relevance especially during and after the The-Dream debacle, she tried to steal the public’s attention by loudly hanging out with YMCB.
That helped for a while but it sure as hell wasn’t enough, even though she went out of her way to let the public know she was having Lil’ Wayne’s dick for breakfast, lunch and supper.
Then she got a reality TV show and you know celebrities are in financial trouble if they need to have a reality show to pay their bills
And if Christina is too obscure for most of you to relate with, then remember Britney Spears.
Britney started strong, went from Disney to Billboard charts but then she started hanging out with Paris Hilton and that association got Britney thinking she wasn’t good enough so she started doing dumb shit.
Got fat, shaved her head, had a full blown breakdown but then she found herself and her sanity.
Now she stays away from the bad influences that drove her over the edge by making her think she was a country bumpkin that needed to act all city girl posh (that’s code for slutty).
She thought she wasn’t good enough, they pushed her over the edge. But she’s recovered from this…
…And mostly has her shit together now.
Then there’s Meek Mill (He wanted the relationship with Minaj but he was just too insecure to handle it).
There’s the entire cast of Love & Hip-hop (Atlanta and Hollywood), Real Housewives of Atlanta, Basketball Wives, Flavor of Love. If you need to act like any of the women on these shows just for a little attention. Then sweetie you’re a lost soul.
LADIES. Just so you know. Douchebag Guy’s thrive on girls with low self esteem. They are the easy catch. The backbone that supports the industry of getting laid. The shy girls that get date raped and won’t tell anyone because she’s scared people will think it’s somehow her fault.
“Way easier to manipulate and guilt trip.”
If a girl has low self esteem, she doesn’t know her worth so she’ll do anything to please a guy who in all likelihood won’t appreciate her effort but will be more than happy to take advantage of her warped mind and her very (un)available vagina.
Why do you think cute guys/girls feel so confident asking out not-so-goodlooking people? It’s because they know they have the Power/Value to purchase the Will of the less confident party.
Same thing goes for bullies.
How often do you see a bully pick on a confident person? Super rare! Bullies look for the outcasts, the mentally bowed ones who can’t fight back because on some level they believe the bully is the Master and they are the Bitch Ass Slaves. (Fuck that’s sad)
Pop culture is actually very merciless concerning peoples’ esteem. Pop culture prescribes how you should look. How you should behave, dress, eat and even talk. (Picture Jersey Shore’s cast)
If you do not conform to the dictates of pop culture, you become an outcast, shunned by your peers. You’re called names like nerd, spaz, lame, dork and the rest.
But you wanna hear something funny? Most of the successful folks of this generation were shunned nonconformists.
Zuckerberg, Jobs, Branson, Blake Ross.
None of these dudes played by the rules, or at some point chose to go by their own rules (not saying you should be a self-centred jerk asshole) and it worked like a beauty. These trailblazers ignored what other people might think of them and followed their own path which led to things such as popular opinion becoming irrelevant to them.
Look at Ronda Rousey Top of her game. Female MMA pioneer. Female badass. Hotter than Bitcoin. Queen of the cage. And she unexpectedly loses in the cage to Holly Holms
So she takes a break from MMA. But clearly her self-esteem, her pride and not just her face has taken a huge blow.
After taking some time off, she returned to the cage last week and she unbelievably got the shit beat out of her by Nunes in under 48seconds.
Some say she’s gone soft because she’s gone Hollywood, but does it matter? Truth is, after she lost that earlier fight, she lost something vital. Her confidence.
She lost that discerning magic that made her Ronda fucking Rousey
And now some of her fans are strongly advising she bow out of the cage while she still has her pride.
We still love her but we can’t stand to see her pretty mug look sad and beat up.
Sure it’d be nice if she could leave the cage on a victorious note, but most fighters go the Mike Tyson way, not the Mayweather way.
I want you Mr & Ms Reader to understand; it’s easier when you start life having low self-esteem and then you build yourself up, thus, turning your life around.
But if you’re one of those who start life strong and confident and something dramatic happens that plummets your confidence. The road to recovering your Machismo is a nearly impossible –but still possible- one. One that Ronda has to now face.
Here’s a trick though, if you choose to be unaffected by how others rate you or observe you, then the logic behind low self-esteem becomes irrelevant to your reasoning.
You set the bar for yourself and only your measure of your self-worth becomes what matters.
Before you know it, you’re doing things to make you happy and making progress with your life. And next time your haters blink and look in your direction, they’ll be like, “Woah! When did that dude/gal become awesome?”
That’s how the cookie crumbles folks.
So I bid you goodbye and DEUCES!