Some men hate their wives – loathe their wives… You know this.
But why this hatred? You wouldn’t have married her if you hated her. Unless of course it was a forced marriage and you never liked her.
Even then, hate is something that takes a lot of effort even between mere acquaintances, so for a married man to hate his wife after sharing years, a home and children. There has to be an at least justifiable reason.
Let’s look at how the average angry man views his “mostly innocent wife”.
A responsible man (husband) goes to work, struggles all day to make money to support his family. He doesn’t mind doing this though because it’s his duty. It is something he was emotionally prepared for and aware of before getting married.
But there will be those days when he’s stressed from his job or life in general, and he will eye his wife.
Said wife might or might not be generating income to support the family as she sits there on the couch consuming hard earned money, and bitterness will flood the husband at the sight of her eating food he has paid for,
Watching DSTV he has paid for, but rarely has time to watch,
Enjoying air-conditioning on an electricity bill he will pay for,
Watch her drive and scratch the car he paid for on her behalf (and yet she’ll have the audacity to ask him to fix it after car suffers a malady induced by her own carelessness).
But there are the husbands who take it to the extreme by being irritated by their wife for simply carrying his last name that he’s worked so hard all his life to build a reputation for (this kind of husband is the scariest, because if provoked, murder is an option for them).
There are even scarier husbands who are infuriated by just watching their wives enjoy a conversation with their children who he’s paid big bucks to train.
I know the last two scenarios sound kinda extreme, but believe you me, such marriages do exist. And it’s so unfair to women who actually contribute in their own way to making a welcoming home for their husbands
It’s all a paradox at the end of the day, because the unreasonable anger that is clouding that husband’s judgment is something he will find to be foolish once he takes a moment to ask, “What is wrong with me?”
And when it come to the matter of financial consumption in the home, if a wife starts making more than the husband, you’ll in most cases find such men feeling like they are lesser. Like their wives have usurped them from their throne of head of the family – Emasculated!
Men who hate their wives but fear feeling emasculated, will firmly say no when a wife insists on getting a job. In fact, simply mentioning she wants to start earning her own money is something he’ll see as a subtle indication of his inability to provide for his family (INSULT!)
So what do we do with such men?
Well if you’re a man and you’re reading this knowing you’re one of such men, I want you to know that you’re suffering from the height of insecurity.
Is your insecurity self-induced, then that’s very bad and you need to check yourself.
Or is it induced by something your wife is or does? Then I suggest talking to your wife and fixing the problem together.
But if you’re too scared of her, talk to someone you know she respects to help intervene. (By the way, involving “someone she respects” is a clear indication and acceptance of the fact that she doesn’t respect you).
Best all round solution to marital malice; Communication and Compromise.
Conflict doesn’t need to end in malicious fist or word slinging. That’s a primitive and unintelligent way of solving problems. As humans, educated or otherwise, communication is key.
After talking and revealing each others grievances (be they ridiculous or otherwise), a compromise can then be reached on how to put the anger behind and move on in love.
I know feminists out there are like, “why should I be the one to back down and soothe my husband’s ego?”why should I be the one to back down and soothe my husband’s ego?”
If that’s your destructive way of thinking, I will not tell you otherwise. But I wish you all the best in your marriage as it crashes and burns because you insisted on claiming an equality that you don’t understand while trying to prove your dick to be as big as your husband’s.
To round up, no kingdom can have two kings. There’s a king and usually there’s a queen. Both king and queen have great power but are rarely equal in reality. Sometimes, the balance of power shifts between king and queen, but as a queen (and even king as well), wisdom is evident when as a spouse, you know when, where and how to relinquish power for the sake of peace in your kingdom.
And for the men with their egos getting in the way, you better cut off said ego, before you become the fool who runs from home to find solace in the arms of another whose only goal is to steal what belong to your wife.
If as a man, you feel doing the above is appropriate, just remember Abraham making a similar mistake and how the world is paying for it by having an ongoing Islam (Ishmael) vs Christian (Isaac) war.
P.S: Men hate their wives in other situations that are justifiable, such as the scenario in this post.
Or when the wife is one of those insatiable creatures that nothing is ever good enough for.
Or those wives who have PhD in nagging and zero communication skills (if you aren’t sure if you fall into this category then if your voice is too high, your posture and tone unnecessarily aggressive or mewling and your words too repetitive and or condescending, and you enjoy dramatizing like in a Yoruba movie when talking to your husband, then you’re probably in this category).
Or if there’s no character difference between you and a bloodsucking vampire witch.